From ESPN.com: Page 2 – Basking in the NFL drama By Bill Simmons
Funniest Phone Call: My Mom
She called me during the weekend to ask why Randy Johnson was called “The Big Unit,” saying, “I don’t get it; why would somebody be nicknamed after the size of their penis? Why is this allowed? I’m not going to be able to watch him pitch now, I’m going to be frightened that something will fly out.” When I responded that it was just a nickname and probably had nothing to do with his locker room prowess, she said, “Well, why would you want a nickname that makes you sound like a penis? Who would do that to themselves?”
(You know it’s a good weekend when you get to hear your mom say the word “penis” two times without wanting to light yourself on fire.)